Tuesday, May 4, 2010

This is who I am..

So this is probably the first blog i've written in months, probably first this year, and what better subject to write about but myself.

Just thought id reflect on who I am and who I've slowly transformed into these past years.

I use to be a very emotionally vulnerable person, what people said to me use to affect me alot, and I thank god for putting every obstacle in my life that has hurt me, from nearly stabbing a person in year 9, to getting suspended from school many times, to getting expelled in the exact week before my year 12 graduation, to losing close friends time and time again. They may have been rough and may have fucking sucked at the time, but everything has slowly transformed me into the person I now am. I am a much more confident and true person, and though my ego may get the best of me sometimes, I try to always look away from my darkness. I am a much more honest person and I have my mom to thank for raising me up to be a good man that has good moral judgement.

I've been through alot of love, hate, gain and loss, and times in the pass where I have had suicidal thoughts but I've persevered and Im grateful for the life I have now, and everyone I have in my life. I have wonderful friends, and a quote that I recently came up with, may not be the best, "For those in the past which arent in my present, I want nothing to do with in the future", pretty self explanatory and means that if people in my past, whether good friends or not, dont bother making an effort to bond the friendship, I want nothing to do with them anymore, it helps me through every day life and reminds me who my true blood brothers and sisters are.

I've been in Burnt At The Stake since October 08 when we first started out in that little room at school, and we've come a long way from praccing in the music room to now having played many shows including interstate ones and releasing our first EP, it's what I love to do and whether people believe we will go nowhere or somewhere, I will let that for fate and hard work to decide.

I'm also joining the Army Reserves, many people question why im doing it, some even calling me stupid, and if my reasons are stupid then so be it. Since I was a little boy i've always highly respected and looked up to war veterans and current soldiers, I am a WWII fanatic and am obsessed with the Atlantic Theatre of that war, and I guess just as I loved punk and hardcore music enough to be in a band, I loved it enough to join the force myself.

It actually felt good to let everything out in public, I use to be afraid of people judging me according to my past deeds, but im not anymore. I've spoken the honest truth and I dont care if people criticise or judge me wrongly for what I have written, because that is who I am. Im over being judged and being talked shit on. Ive been downhill, at rock bottom, and hurt alot through the past years, through things with friends, girls, and just plain bad decisions. And i'm proud to say now, nothing can hurt me.


- Joey Cruz Andres

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